FOOB’s 2.0

Oh, what are FOOB’s you ask?  Well, when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, I heard several folks refer to their new breast implants as “FOOB’s” also known as fake boobs.  So ever since then, I call my breasts – FOOB’s.  I really don’t care about my FOOB’s and don’t really have a strong attachment to them other than they sit on my chest. Since they’re not real, having the implants makes me feel a little more normal and more whole again.

Yesterday, I had surgery to replace the original foob’s for new foob’s.    I was never really happy with the result of  verison 1.0 or 1.5 foob’s  but I came to accept them for what they were.  (version 1.0 and 1.5 were the original placement of the foob’s and 1.5 corrected the support)  I mean, gravity is on my side., right?!?  I’ve got to find silver lining with something like this because I don’t really know too many people my age having to deal with stuff like this.  My first set of foob’s lasted 6 years, they probably could have and should have lasted longer but I tore the support earlier this year (again) that helps keep them in place. It caused a bit of pain so I needed to do something about them.  My doctor said the implants typically last 8 years so since we had to go in and replace the support, we might as well replace both.  Basically a little maintenance for the foob’s.

The day started really early since we were going to Seattle from the country house, we had to leave before the traffic hit.  We checked in at 6:45 and surgery was scheduled at 8:45. I wasn’t nervous or excited. And now, I find it a bit unsettling that I can walk into the surgery pavilion and not be afraid anymore.   I know the drill, I know what to expect, and there weren’t any surprises.  Once I was called back for surgery prep, the nurses  started rolling in and asking me all sorts of questions and taking my vitals.  Finally, the doctor came in and marked me up and confirmed the surgery plan.

I realize most people don’t really know what’s involved with reconstruction from breast cancer. It’s not the same as if I had real breast and going in for augmentation.  So I’ll try to explain. When they did the bilateral mastectomy in 2010, they took everything…and I do mean everything.  They also took a little more tissue of my left side because that’s where the tumor was located.  Once I was done with all my treatments, they put silicone implants in place.  They use silicon because it feels more natural.  When they put the implants in (v.1.0) they were slightly off in size because of and it caused the skin to ripple a bit.

The surgery yesterday helped fix a few imperfections by replacing the original implants. When the PA came in, she asked if the doctor had talked to me about liposuction, I said “Um, no but hey I’ll take some lipo on my thighs!” (one of my problem areas) They took the fat from my thighs and put into my breast to give a little more thicker skin.

The surgery went great and I feel like I have two proportioned sized breasts. I have a quite a bit of swelling but it will gone down soon enough.  However, because they took some fat from my thighs, I have to  wear these really fancy spanx – they even have lace at the bottom! I’ve been ordered to wear them for 2 weeks so I can heal. I’ve never worn spanx and I don’t think I will ever want to wear them again.

I’m out of commission for two weeks – no running, no biking, no weight lifting.  But in the whole scheme of things, 2 weeks isn’t so bad, I guess.  I am still  able to go to work though. I can’t wait to get back to feeling ‘normal’ again.

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