This is my kingdom…

This last week I met a friend for coffee – not unusual.  It was a beautiful morning so I decided to walk from the girl oasis to the coffee shop – about 3 miles.  I can’t tell you what this did for me – the fresh air, the exercise, the listening to a positive podcast,  the running into a friend along the way…I’m was smiling the entire way. After the meeting, I headed to the bus stop to go the rest of the way into work.  Instead of listening to another podcast, I decided to keep this high that I was on,  I needed some upbeat music so I played my ‘February’ playlist.  (Each month I create a new playlist to suit my mood and so I don’t get burned out.)

The top February song is Cake by the Ocean by DNCE – it’s definitely upbeat and it talks about cake and ocean…who doesn’t love those two things, right??

The next song isn’t upbeat but it definitely resonated with me, especially this month.  With the sun on my face, the cool breeze in the air, and the view of the Space Needle in front of me, I found myself almost coming to tears over the words of this song.  I hadn’t even listened to the words before or at least paid attention to them.  I found it recently while watching a show on Netflix or TV- I Shazam a lot of songs off of TV shows that speak to me and something at the time made me download the song.  The song is Daughter by Sleeping At Last (I’ve never heard of them either).

Tomorrow is the 16th anniversary of losing my dad.  16 years…I still have a hard time believing I’m able to function without him -without his guidance and words of wisdom over various aspects of my life.  When he died, he was my best friend.  The friend that you  go to the bar with, the friend you go on a road trip with, the friend to complain about the stupid boys in my life,  the friend you ask ‘what should I do about ___?’, I told him everything.   So when this song came on, I felt like the words were coming from him. I used to be his little princess (as I’m sure most little girls are) and he taught me this is my kingdom and I get to make it whatever I want.

As I’m getting older and figuring out what really lights my fire within, I’m realizing I have the best of both my parents.  My mom taught me to care for others and have compassion, the desire to make a  difference in this world.  While my dad taught me to find my platform, my voice, to think outside the box and take risks. Last week when I mentioned I cleaned out my file cabinet, I ran across a few things from his past.   The last 12 years or so in his career, he worked at the University as a Research Reporter and wrote a ton of articles while getting his bachelors and masters degress.  I found a letter he wrote to the President (of the university) praising some folks he had worked with on something. I laughed because it made me realize how much he really taught me – my style of writing/humor is similar to his style.

So even though I’ve managed without his great advice over the last 16 years, this song made me realize that maybe he’s still watching over and guiding me along this path called life.

There’s not a lot of pictures of us because he hated to have his picture taken.  I found this one in the file cabinet and I remember on this day he was the one wanted this taken.  We were at my aunts house in Chattanooga.  It’s a little goofy but it makes me smile.

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If only you knew
The sunlight shines a little brighter,
The weight of the world’s a little lighter,
The stars lean in a little closer
All because of you.I want to see
You lift your chin a little higher,
Open your eyes a little wider,
Speak your mind a little louder,
’cause you are royalty.

This is your kingdom,
This is your crown,
This is your story.
This is your moment,
Don’t look down..

You’re ready, born ready.
And all you gotta do
Is put one foot in front of you.
Our ceiling is your floor,
And all you gotta do
Is put one foot in front of you,
If only you knew.


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