I came up with the idea of the starting line because really that’s where life begins for me now. I feel like every adventure, every challenge, every race begins somewhere so why not start at the starting line. It’s at the starting line where I thrive. I’m excited, I’m nervous, and I wonder if I’ll make it to the finish and get the medal. I’ll admit I haven’t always crossed the finish line in my ventures but I’m working on that. So the blog is my new venture – a place where I can be excited, scared, and nervous at the same time.
Today is the first Saturday of 2012 and also the first Saturday that I have been home in over a month. I’ve been trying to figure out my goals and New Year’s resolution all week. I like setting goals – it gives me something to do and plan for – something that I have control over. I’ll admit my goals are selfish but at the same time, I think my goals are helping me be a better person. I’m definitely more aware.
In 2010, my goal was to make 2010 MY year. In 2011, my goal was to rest and recover – well at least that’s what I’m telling myself now. I really wanted 2011 to be my comeback year but I can finally admit now, looking back that I was tired and I was recovering. 2010 was my year, in more ways than one, and my body needed to recover from it. As I think about 2012, I realized I can’t be the same person I was in 2010. 2010, I had cancer. 2012, I don’t have cancer. I have a hard time now trying not to do an event every month. It’s really a great goal and really helped me to look forward to something each month but it’s also quite expensive. I need to set different goals.
So, what’s the goal for 2012? I still haven’t figured it out. Or maybe I have…I’ve rewritten this paragraph probably ten times and deleted it ten times. I’ve always said I wanted to be one of those people who just doesn’t plan. Hmmm…could I make 2012 the year of no plans? The plan to not plan. I don’t know…makes me feel uncomfortable…a little scared but maybe that’s what I need to do. Step out of my shell more and grow. Nah…I can’t do it. Even as I write this I realize I can’t not plan. It’s who I am. So even though I don’t have my goals set of the year, I’m just going to go with it and not worry about setting them. It will come.
I’ve been pretty lazy this weekend. And it felt great. For some reason this really short week at work was really long. The good news is I got my new running shoes and after over a year of no hair or really short hair, I got to push it back in a pony tail. It felt amazing. It also feels amazing to be lazy once in a while.
I started reading a new book today – well actually it’s a new used book. I bought it off Amazon because I’m always so cheap when it comes to books and I believe that if you read a book and enjoy it, pass it on. The book is called “Through Rose Colored Glasses” by Donna Deegan and is about how she survived breast cancer for the 3rd time while organizing this race -26.2 with Donna. This is the race that I ran in 2010 that made me go check that lump I had. The race where my oncologist also ran – but we didn’t know each other then. The race where I met that woman who told me that she ran through treatment. The race, in my mind, that really changed me. I’ll be running the ½ marathon again next month and I can’t wait.
Anyways, the first thing she starts her book with is a verse – Mark 5:36 Fear not, Only believe. I think this may be my new favorite verse.
Right now, I believe 2012 is going to be an amazing year.